I'm An Italian, Get me Out Of Here!
by FelixFelicis-LiquidLuck
Summary: Romano and Antonio are partnered for a project. There are several problems: Romano is terrible at cooking under pressure. Romano cannot stand Antonio. Romano has feelings for Antonio. Well, shit...
1. Can I Go Home Yet?

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining down, the sky was bluer than blue (which, in case you didn't know, is _very _blue) and the birds were chirping cheerfully. Not a cloud was in sight.

Oh hell no.

Back the fuck up.

That was _not _how it started.

It was pouring down rain and I could have _swore _he heard thunder. Not a single person risked walking and that, inevitably, caused a lot of traffic. It was cold and I was pissed.

More pissed than usual, that is.

"Feliciano! Why aren't you fucking ready yet?" I yelled, stomping (_no, _it was _not _childish at all). Feliciano peeked his head into my room.

"Ma~ (But~) fratello... I am ready! What about you?" he smiled.

I scowled. "Almost." I fussed around the room for a little longer.

"Where the fucking hell has my tie gone!" I screamed in frustration, throwing his bag on the floor in a tantrum. Feliciano walked in to the room and held something up.

"Is this is, fratello?" he asked, innocently. I snatched it.

"Thanks," I muttered reluctantly, secretly hoping he didn't hear me. "Already, I'm ready. What about you?" I asked, checking Feliciano's clothes. He smiled a 1000 watt smile.

"Ve~ Let's go!"

* * *

"Bloody hell," I stared up at the building.

"It's big," Feliciano said happily, skipping to the entrance. I raised an eyebrow. Understatement of the century.

"Fratello~ Let's go!"

I rolled my eyes but wasn't surprised. It wasn't like I expected him to appreciate it anyway.

It wasn't the size that had me taken-back, though it was big. It was the design. It was built like a palace, all fancy and white, with a pond and a large fountain. There were circles of flowers - some big, some small, some red, blue, orange, white and even purple.

I jogged to catch up with his brother, who had been distracted by the flowers. Grabbing him by the neck of his shirt, I dragged him away. _Idiota_.

At the entrance, was a tall, hawk-eyed woman.

"I assume you two are Romano and Feliciano Vargas?" she asked in clipped tones. Feliciano hid behind me, scared.

"Yeah," I said, looking at her suspiciously. Who the fuck was this bitch?

"Come with me."

I scowled behind her as she lead the two of us to her office, Feliciano still clutching me like a wuss. I stuck my tongue out at her head childishly.

The sound of two boys snickering reached my ears and I looked around curiously.

To his left, were two boys, one albino with white hair, another handsome blonde.

I scowled again, at them automatically. I winced inwardly. Didn't I promise himself to make friends here?

Surprisingly, my scowl did not deter the two, who simply gave him enthusiastic thumbs-ups before walking off, grinning.

Miss Hawk-eyes, as I had so flatteringly nicknamed her in my head, finally stopped in front of a door, labelled 'Reception'.

"Wait. Here," she said, watching us suspiciously as though we were going to run out from under her nose. Feliciano's grip on my side doubled, and did not slacken even when I pinched him.

"We're not going to run away," I muttered, rolling my eyes. Miss Hawk-eyes turned as she narrowed her eyes.

"Excuse me? If you would like to say something, speak up."

"I said," I repeated (rudely, but I'm not one to give a shit), "We're not going to run away.

Miss Hawk-eyes sniffed disapprovingly. "I wouldn't put it past you."

And with that she slammed the door in our faces.

"What. A. Bitch. What a fucking annoying little-" I raged. Feliciano covered my mouth. Dickhead

"Don't use words like that!" he said hurriedly. I removed Feliciano's hand with a glare.

"You seem pretty pissed," a voice behind us said amusedly.

A blonde boy with startling green eyes stood watching us. Creep... How long had he been there?

"Do you have a problem? Need help?" he asked.

"No. Fuck off. I don't need any help to stand outside a door," I immediately scowled, turning away.

"Ah, you new? I haven't really seen you two around before..." the boy mused, staring at us thoughtfully. I've got to admit, I was a little taken back. Was no one here affected by my rudeness?

"Ve~ we're new! We just transferred in! My name is Feliciano and this is my twin brother, Romano! What is your name?" Feliciano jumped up, all fear completely gone.

The boy smiled. "I'm Arthur! If you ever need any help, if you've got questions or if you just want a cup of tea, I'll be in Room 210. I'm Head of Student Council so-"

He was interrupted by another blonde, taller, with blue eyes and glasses. Pushing Arthur out of the way, he stood in front of them, pointing at himself with a grin.

"Alfred Jones! Here to save the day!"

Feliciano and I just stared.

"Who needs help?" the so-called Alfred asked eagerly. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"The only person who needs help is you. Serious help," Arthur muttered, giving Alfred a dirty look. Said hero pouted.

"Aw, I know you love me really, Arthur!" Alfred grinned, ruffling Arthur's hair, who had gone such a bright shade of red so quickly, he could have substituted for the red in a traffic light. I was surprised he didn't release any steam.

"Tch," I muttered under my breath. "Love. How lame."

"Arthur, why are you so red?" Feliciano asked innocently, poking said boy's cheek, which could easily fried several eggs. Speaking of eggs...

"I'm hungry," I grumbled.

"Mr Kirkland, Mr Jones, why don't you two run along?" a slightly threatening voice behind them suggested.

"Alright, Miss Hadley!" Alfred smiled, grabbing Arthur by the arm and running. We stood and listened to Arthur's yells and protests before turning to Miss Hadley.

Once again, Feliciano hid behind me.

"You'll be in Room 212," she said curtly, handing over four keys and two slips of paper with the room number. "You have one spare key. Lose both, and it costs for another one."

She handed them two papers.

"Here is your timetable. Your luggage has already been sent up to your room. Class starts in twenty minutes."

And with that, the door slammed in their faces. _Again._

"Well, isn't she lovely?" I muttered sarcastically, giving the door a dirty look.

"Glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't like her," a voice behind them said happily.

* * *

**Cliffie! How is Romano going to react to Antonio? Review, tell me what you think! Any scenes you'd like?**

**Also, a little question for you... Should I add minor pairings? GerIta, USUK, a bit of FrUk maybe... Or should I just keep it SpaMano? HELP!**


	2. Perverts! Everywhere!

**Next chapter's up! I'm getting into this!**

**Alright, enjoy!**

* * *

Behind us was a tall boy with brown hair and green eyes and an annoying-as-hell smile.

"Who are you?" I asked rudely, pulling a face. "Actually, I don't give a shit, bye."

I grabbed Feliciano's arm and walked off. Feliciano pouted, and seemed to prepare a rant about not being rude and being fucking happy and thinking about pasta, and tomatoes, and rainbows...

I paused, and turned back to the boy.

"Actually, you wouldn't know where Room 212 is?"

"Room 212?" the boy grinned. "I'll show you!"

I stared at the guy. He was so cheerful, it was annoying...

"Ugh, fine," I muttered, making sure it sound like it was me doing the favour.

"Thank you!" Feliciano beamed brightly. The boy sent another 1000 watt smile back at him. I mimed gagging and didn't bother hiding it either.

"Alright, alright, let's go," I grumbled.

"I'm Feliciano and this is Lovi~!"

"I'm Antonio Fern-"

I interrupted him (because I'm just that hardcore). "No one cares. And my name's not Lovi, it's Romano."

"Ah, I see." Antonio tilted his head cutely -_annoyingly-_ and addressed me."Why are you called Lovi then?"

Feliciano butted in, giggling. "We sometimes call him Lovino, but Lovi sounds much cuter, right?"

"Sí!" Antonio agreed, smiling. I rolled my eyes.

"Are we fucking there yet?" I complained in the whiniest voice possible. "I'm tired."

"Ah~ Don't swear! We've only got another floor," Antonio smiled, trying to cheer me up. It did the exact opposite.

"How big is this place..." I grumbled.

"Fratello~! Cheer up, we are nearly there, sí? Don't be grumpy, ve~!" Feliciano poked my cheeks. I resisted the urge to bite his finger.

I was damn tempted though.

"Are we there yet?"

Minutes later...

"Are we there yet?"

"Just a little bit more..."

Some more minutes later.

"Are we there yet?"

"Nearly!"

Less than a minute later.

"Are we there yet?"

"Here!" Antonio stopped, and turned to face us. "Welcome, to Room 212!"

"Yay!" Feliciano cheered, clapping his hands excitedly.

"About fucking time, too..."

Feliciano stuck his key into the door and frowned when he couldn't open the door.

"Ve~ I can't open it," Feliciano pouted. Antonio frowned.

"Let's see your slip... You might have a different room, _tal vez_ (maybe)...?"

Feliciano set down his bag and went through his pockets. Whilst searching, several items came out including...

Cat chew sticks, dog biscuits, shredded paper, some coins, some cat treats, his phone, some more paper, a yo-yo, some chicken nuggets, a picture of pasta (It's Feliciano, what did you expect?), a dozen pasta restaurent leaflet ads, and several broken buttons.

He finally pulled out the slip of paper, which was practically coated in peanut butter (I didn't bother asking).

"Ah," his face dropped almost comically. "It says 213!"

And with that, he burst into tears.

"But I wanted to be with _mi fratello_... I don't wanna sleep without him! I won't be able to sleep! _Fratello!" _

I rolled his eyes, before patting Feliciano's head in what I hoped looked like a friendly gesture. Judging by the way Feliciano winced, I probably did it too hard...

"Cheer up. It's right next door, right?" I mumbled roughly, pushing him in what was probably the direction of his room. "Bye."

I hoped he'd take the hint.

After several minutes of him clutching me and wailing, and Antonio patting him on the head sympathetically, he finally left.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," I frowned, taking out my own key.

"Ah~ Don't be mean to your brother! He loves you!" Antonio said cheerfully. I gave a look. _The _look.

"Why are you still here? You can fucking go now," I all but demanded.

"This is my room, so you're rooming with me! Isn't that great?"

"Antonio?"

"_Sí_?"

"Die, _idiota._"

I opened the door and walked in, slamming it in Antonio's face. And I did it pretty sassy-ly too, if you ask me. I threw myself on a bed, dumping all the bags on the side and closed my eyes to contemplate the situation.

Conclusion? Ugh.

Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

I hate the whole world.

Stuck in a massive school that seems to have been built especially to get people lost, with my annoying brother right next door, and a possibly even more annoying Spaniard that's rooming with me.

Yay.

I can barely contain my joy.

Note the sarcasm.

I felt the bed lower slightly and a warm presence was suddenly pressing against my back.

I got off the bed calmly.

What the hell, why lie? I screamed and fell off.

It's a perfectly normal reaction, okay?

"W-what the fuck? What do you think you were d-doing?" I screamed at the Spanish brunette. He looked up at me innocently.

"This is my bed," he pointed out, smiling confusedly. I just got angrier.

"So you decided to lie down next to me?" I shouted, backing away as Antonio got up. Hell no am I going near him again! "P-pervert!"

Antonio stared at me, and I've got to say, that was creeping me out more than anything else.

"Romano?"

"What?" I snapped.

"Why are you blushing so much?"

"D-damn you! Stay away, p-pervert!" I threw him the worst glare I could, whilst trying to cool down my cheeks.

Antonio just looked at his watch and stated that we should be going to class.

Just as he was walking past, he paused.

And the bastard had the nerve, _he had the fucking audacity _to pinch my cheek!

"Romano... You look like a tomato~!"

"FUCK YOU!"

* * *

I swear to God, I half-expected the annoying bastard to have the same lessons as me... After all, fate seems to hate me so much, it would just be another opportunity to get at me...

Thank the fucking Lord we went different ways... He told me he had Drama (despite the fact I reminded him , and I never felt more relieved that I had Business Studies.

Of course, I got lost.

Of course.

I swear, there were so many hallways and corridors, I was literally wandering around aimlessly until I accidentally found the classroom, already ten minutes late.

I wonder if Feliciano is in his class by now.

Not that I give a shit.

But still.

I drew a deep breath, and prepared myself to be surrounded by absolute idiots. Knocking on the door once, I opened (well, okay, more like _slammed_) it and scowled at the people around me.

They stared at me like I was a fucking monster. Well, thanks... Flattering, right? Ugh.

"What?" I snapped, before looking at the teacher.

And damn, was he creepy!

He was really tall and thin, like some sort of messed up bean pole, and his eyes just stared at you like you were a massive piece of steak and he's a starving kid.

"Come in," he smiled. No, more like, _leered. _

"What the fuck?" I muttered. Hell no was I going any nearer this guy than I have to!

"There's an empty seat over there, next to that window," the teacher smiled creepily. "I'm Mr Saville and you'd be Romano Vargas, correct?"

I _really _didn't like the way he said my name.

"I know everything about you..."

The class just looked down, sending him sympathetic looks every now and then. Apparently, they were used to his... strange (to say the fucking least) behaviour.

Shit. This was going to be a long class.

* * *

**Okay, I don't even _know _where Mr Saville came from but I reckon a story is never complete with a pervert or two (two in this case, since we already have France...)**

**So yeah, what do you think? I reckon Romano was a little OOC towards the end... And question: Do you prefer the name Lovino or Romano? **

**Review!**


	3. The Food Tech Project

**I started this chapter the moment I finished the last one, but then it took me ages to finish it... Thanks, Writer's Block. Real helpful.**

**Seriously though, it was so hard to think up of names for the teachers! Normal surnames sounded so weird! I was going to name one Mrs Campbell, which usually works for teachers but... in this? No.**

**Anyway, enough complaining about surnames. Without any further ado, let the SpaMano... BEGIN!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

According to the dude that sits next to me, Mr Saville is not only a fucking creep, but also a pervert and a Goddamn paedophile. A gay one. Which makes it all the worst, considering my gender.

Yay.

The world _really _hates me, doesn't it?

Class never went slower. Mr Saville's creepy-ass glances and the fact that I was generally terrible at anything along the lines of business added up to one thing:

I fucking _hate _this class.

The guy sitting next to me isn't bad... Yao's Chinese, and offered me a Chinese traditional sweet which I refused because who knew whether or not he fucking poisoned it. I don't fucking trust _anyone _here yet. But he's pretty nice...

I guess life isn't so bad after all.

Next up: Food Tech. Yay.

Note the sarcasm.

To be honest, unless there's pasta there, I honestly don't give a shit.

"What have you got now?" Yao asked over the sound of the bell.

"Food Tech," I mumbled, gathering my stuff and shoving it in my bag.

"I'll walk you there, I'm going past that corridor anyway," Yao smiled. I nodded my thanks.

* * *

Guess who was there at the door of my Food Tech class?

That fucking Antonio pervert.

"Don't tell me you have this class..." I groaned the moment I saw him. He smiled.

"I don't have this class," he agreed. I swear, I've been that happy in my whole life.

"You don't?" I repeated hopefully.

He shrugged. "I do, but you told me to tell you to that I don't."

I stared at him, and walked right past. "_Idiota__."_

He pouted. "Hey, I'm offended!"

I gave a quick glance at the board, and gaped.

"We have a seating plan? How old do they think we are?" I raged, after seeing who I was sitting next to. "Why the hell are you everywhere I go?"

"They are a lot troublemakers that they need to separate. Looks like you came one on of the Seating Change days," the Spanish bastard said cheerfully. I scowled.

"Oh, fuck off," I said cheerfully, giving him the fakest smile I could muster. I threw myself into the seat to show my anger.

And apparently the chair wasn't strong enough for my fury.

I toppled backwards, banged my head on the floor and I have no idea what happened next.

* * *

"How much does it hurt on a scale of one to ten?" the nurse asked, tentatively pressing the back of his head.

"Fifty!" I whined, wincing and slapping her hand away. She gave me a look.

"Don't be such a drama queen," she chided, taking her gloves off. I stuck my tongue out when she turned away.

"Can I go now?" I grumbled, gingerly patting the back of my head. The humiliation of falling off a chair because I sat down too hard... How the hell am I supposed to face Antonio now? Not that I care, obviously, but still...

I was dismissed back to class, and there was still half an hour left of Food Tech. I sauntered back into the class, head down.

"Ah, you'd be Romano Vargas, right? the teacher smiled. Thank God, she didn't look like a pervert or a paedophile. "I believe your seat is next to the lovely gentleman over there."

She pointed over at Antonio, who waved. I gave him a dirty look.

"Whatever," I mumbled, sitting down. He looked over at me in concern. Bastard.

"Are you okay? How's your head? Is it bad? You don't need any bandages? Does it hurt? Did it bleed?" he fussed, gently pressing the back of my head. I blushed when I realised how close behind me he was standing.

"G-go away, bastard! It's your fault!" I snapped, moving away quickly. Only because he was a pervert and God knows what he'd do.

He looked guilty, and I couldn't help but feel sorry.

"Nah, it's perfectly fine now, it wasn't that bad."

He still looked upset.

"And it's not your fault," I muttered under my breath.

"Eh?" he leaned forward to hear me. I felt myself blush a little (NOTE: A LITTLE) at the proximity.

"I said, it's not your fault," I snapped in a harsher tone than I meant. The _idiota _grinned happily.

Lesson hadn't even started and I was already exhausted.

"So, I'm Miss Barnes, I'm sure I've covered some of your lessons last year. Mr Sanchez isn't here today, so I'll be covering. This means that you won't be starting your partnering projects today."

The albino in front of me began to cheer. He looked kind of familiar...

"Just because you're terrible at cooking, Albert," Antonio teased, poking the boy's head. It was that guy who laughed when I stuck my tongue out at Miss Hadley...

"Romano, this is Gilbert and Francis," Antonio introduced. I didn't look up.

"Fuck off."

"Ouch," Gilbert grinned. Francis clutched his chest.

"The pain! My heart is broken! I have not even had a chance to woo you yet and already you claim to hate me?" he said pitifully. What a fucking drama-queen.

"I don't _claim _to hate you. I do hate you."

"But you don't even know me yet! Give me a chance, I'm begging you!" he wailed.

"That's quite enough, Mr Bonnefoy."

Francis sat down, disgruntled. I laughed in his face. Annoying dick.

"Although I do not know what the project is about, I _can _tell you who you will be partnered with."

And with that, she read out the list.

"Bet they're going to separate the Bad Touch Trio," someone whispered. Another snorted.

"Mr Sanchez would have to be mad _not _to!"

"Who's the Bad Touch Trio?" I asked Antonio, poking his head. He just grinned and didn't answer. What the fuck...?

"Gilbert Weillschmidt and Matthew Williams."

A small blonde boy that I hadn't even _noticed _was sitting right next to me, got up and sat next to Gilbert, who automatically put his arm around the small boy. They were _friends_? Wow, what a... weird pairing...

"Alfred Jones and Arthur Kirkland."

"Elizaveta Héderváry and Roderich Edelstein."

"Ivan Braginski and Natalia Alfroskaya."

"Vash Zwingli and Lili Zwingli."

"They're twins?" I asked, confused. How else could two siblings be in the same year?

"They're not blood-related," Antonio shrugged.

And on and on it went until it got to my name.

"Romano Vargas? Is that right?" she looked up at me. I nodded, holding my breath.

"Right, your partner is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo."

* * *

**Shorter than I would have liked, but it was the perfect place to end. =) So yeah, I'll be adding minor pairings that will be developing behind Antonio and Romano. But there's another problem...**

**What pairings do _you _want?**

**I just wanna see how many people like which, so just answer what you'd like, rather than what you think would be best in this story. **

**Thanks for keeping up with this story, and I'll be updating as soon as possible! **

**Review, motherfuckers!**


	4. The Wielder of the Frying Pan

**Fourth chapter up! I'm taking longer than before! ._. I've got a couple of Kpop fanfics that I'm writing on AO3, and I've got a few anime(s) that I want to catch up with, as well as a bunch of Hetalia fanfics... So busy. -.-**

**But we're finally on the main plot of the fanfiction! (Note: Finally)**

**Probable pairings in this story: Germany/Italy, Lithuania/Poland, a little minor Greece/Japan (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist) and possibly some Denmark/Norway... I'll be keeping France, England, and America single, sorry!**

**Thank you so much for the many reviews though! The one reason I didn't give up!**

**Anyway, let the SpaMano continue!**

* * *

"_Right, your partner is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo."_

"Are. You. Fucking. Serious." I banged my head on the table for each word. Antonio slid his hand under my head to stop me.

"Don't do that, Romano~! You could hurt yourself!"

"You could lose those few precious brain cells you have," Gilbert grinned, turning back a little.

"Not that they're much good anyway," Francis added casually, not even bothering to turn around.

I scowled. I didn't even know these fucktards and they were already insulting me like we were best mates. Wow.

"Well, thank you very fucking much," I said sarcastically. "It's nice to know you care about me."

"Always here to support you," Gilbert grinned.

Antonio laughed, the fucking dickhead.

"Looks like you lot are getting on already," he smiled. I shot him a look.

"_This _is what you call getting on? I worry for you."

"It's his idiocy that attracts the girls," Francis winked.

"You four, pay attention over here!" Miss Barnes called out.

But even as we were lectured on the effects of adding too much or too little flour, I was _still _thinking about what that Francis douche said.

_Antonio _attracts girls? _Antonio? _The one and only, happy-go-lucky, 1000-watt-smile, more-annoying-than-chirping-birds-at-5-in-the-morning Antonio?

_That _was a surprise.

How the hell is that bastard popular? I don't know why I'm pissed, but I am. The thought of girls latching on to him is... disturbing to say the least. And very much annoying.

Fuck, why am I so upset about this?

"Romano~! What do you think our project will be about?" he asked, scooting over as Miss Barnes wrote something on the board.

"I don't fucking know, this is my first ever class in Food Tech, idiot," I snapped. He pouted.

Ah. Now I kind of see how he attracts girls.

He's actually... Kind of cute.

FUCK, DID I JUST THINK THAT?

* * *

"So, you're the transfer student?" one girl asked, with brown-ish hair and... a frying pan. Which would be completely normal if we were still in class but we were halfway through Maths now, and I'm pretty sure that didn't require a frying pan.

"Uh, yeah, obviously," I rolled my eyes. Didn't Mr Zuckenski mention that right at the beginning of the lesson? The girl ignored everything but the middle word.

"You and Antonio would be so cute together!" she squealed suddenly. I stared.

"Uh, what?"

"You like Toni, right? You should ask him out," she stated, like that settled everything. I raised an eyebrow.

"First of all, I don't like that _idiota _in that way, second of all, just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I like anyone, and third of all, I'm pretty sure Antonio straight and got a girlfriend."

Because that _idiota _wouldn't be able to resist all the girls that were throwing themselves on him. It had taken only one walk from Food Tech to Maths to see that.

I shot a dirty look at the boy in question, who was curling his hair with one finger as he pretended to listen to the teacher. I shot an even dirtier look at several girls who were drooling at him.

"Nope, he's single and is as straight as a boomerang," the girl grinned.

"You can get some straight boomerangs somewhere, I'm sure," I grumbled quietly. She smirked.

"Elizabeta."

"Romano."

"Don't worry, Roma, I'll make sure you and Antonio are together!"

And with that, Elizabeta bounded off.

"Together?" I spluttered. "Antonio? And me? _Roma?_"

* * *

I should have known to stay away from that Elizabeta the moment I saw the frying pan. I knew she was suspicious!

I can't even walk down the corridor without her asking me the most _humiliating _questions in the history of humiliating questions!

"Would you be okay with being the uke of a relationship?"

"Are you a virgin?"

"Are you a _lip _virgin?"

"Have you ever bottomed?"

"If you wanted sex, would you lead? Or would you wait for the other to come to you?"

"Have you ever thought about marriage?"

"Why the _fuck _would I think about marriage when I'm in high school?" I gaped. She shrugged.

"Some people like to think about starting their life earlier than most. How do I know you're not under that category?"

I shook my head. I couldn't deal with this.

"Lovi~!"

I groaned.

"Oy, bastard. Tell this girl that I do not like you and you don't like me," I growled, pointing at Elizabeta. Antonio looked a little surprised.

"You don't like me?" he asked, downtrodden. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not, _idiota_, not in the way that-"

"But _I_ like you!"

"Brilliant! Got it all on tape!" Elizabeta said, satisfied. I gaped.

"Why the _fuck _where you recording our conversation?"

She shrugged. "I leave it on at all times, just in case moments like these crop up out of nowhere that I simply _can't _ignore," she smiled sweetly, before skipping off, swinging her frying pan.

"She's evil," I said, horrorstruck.

"I think she's quite nice," Antonio said cheerfully. I sent him a look.

"Oy. Don't say 'I like you' and that kind of stuff around her. She'll twist it around to interpret it the way _she_ wants to."

"What way does she want to interpret it?" he asked. God, he was so fucking naïve! He was like an innocent little kid that I wanted to put in a little bubble and keep away from the world, including me, because fuck, that innocent little kid was annoying as hell.

"Nothing, just... Stay away from her. She's dangerous," I warned, before stomping off.

* * *

**Sorry I took so long, but I have Writer's Block... =( If you have any scenes in mind, please help me out and send them to me! I was going to dump this but I'll try and carry on...**

**But yeah, review, tell me what you think, send some ideas in, bitch about anything you don't like. =) **

**Adios, bitches!**


	5. Yet Another Pervert

**Urgh, Writers' Block. -.- Sorry I took so long, guys, and thanks for sticking with this! Hopefully, it should be moving a little faster now and I won't take this long to update again, promise! =)**

* * *

"So you're the new guy?" a small blonde girl asked, smiling sweetly. I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly.

'_Don't be a jerk, don't be a jerk, she just wants to be your friend, don't me a jerk.'_

"Uh, yeah. Romano Vargas. You?"

"Lili Zwingli," she smiled. "You seem pretty close with Antonio already."

I couldn't help but pull a face when I heard that _idiota_'s name. "We're doom mates and he ends up being everywhere I go, but if that's your idea of close, then sure."

Lili laughed in a shy kind of way. How the fuck did she managed to laugh _shyly? _Who laughs _shyly_? Giggle, I can understand, but _laugh_?

"Do you like him?" she asked curiously. I shrugged.

"He's actually kind of okay at times..." I muttered, looking away. Damn, why was it so hard to lie to her?

"I didn't mean in a friendly way. Do you _like _like him?"

"_Like _like him?" I gaped.

"_Like _like him," she confirmed with a small giggle.

"What the hell, no! As if I'd like him! He's annoying as hell, loud, everywhere I go, and clingy as fuck!" I rambled. "He's an idiot and probably got a girlfriend because he's such a Goddamn playboy-"

Lili, who was listening to all this with a smile that was a little too knowing for me to be comfortable with, interrupted me there.

"Antonio's gay, single, and has never been out with anyone before, let alone play with someone's heart."

I gaped. Elizabeta was... _right?_

"Eh?"

The bell rang for third lesson."

"I have to go, sorry," she said apologetically, before walking off quickly, her short blonde hair swinging slightly.

I was heading off to Biology, when an older, male version of Lili blocked my way, glaring.

"Dude, who are you?" I said, annoyed. He gave me such a dirty look, I suddenly had the urge to take a shower.

"I saw you with Lili," he frowned.

"You're her brother?" I assumed, scowling. "Lili's cuter."

"Not blood-related." He was still glaring. "If I see you take advantage of her, if I see you, I swear to God-"

"Oy. I'm gay."

He blinked.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, keep an eye on her. This place is full of bisexuals, and with Francis around, I can't rest in peace. I can't trust any of the guys with her but I guess you're an exception."

He gave a teensy weensy smile and it was gone, just like that.

"Romano Vargas." I stuck my hand out reluctantly.

"Vash Zwingli. Welcome to the Protect-Lili Club."

He walked off and for the what, third time? I was left gaping.

"Protect-Lolo Club," I snorted, entering the Biology classroom.

It was quite early, and I sat at the back, ready to get up in case the actual owner came.

By the the lesson started, no one had claimed the seat, or sat next to me.

Just as I thought I had gotten lucky, that damn Spaniard walked in. His two friends (Francis and Albert, was it?) sat in their designated seats and...

Why am I not surprised that he sits next to me. Why am I not surprised. Why.

"Why are you everywhere I go?" I grumbled, and the idiota laughed.

"This was always my seat, you're the one who decided to sit here," he grinned.

"You say that like I knew you sit there."

"It must be fate!"

"No."

Antonio pouted. "You're so mean, Lovi~!"

"You're so annoying, Toni~!" I mocked, and that one sentence was enough to turn him into a 1000 watt bulb.

"Is that your new nickname for me?" he asked excitedly.

"No."

"Please!" he pouted. "We can be Toni and Lovi!"

"First of all," I said heatedly. "I hate the name Lovi."

"But it's cu-"

"Second of all, Toni sounds stupid."

"I liked i-"

"Third of all, even if I _did _agree to it, it'd be Lovi and Toni, not Toni and Lovi."

"That's okay!" he said brightly. I facepalmed.

"Did you even listen to the other two?"

"Uh..."

"Alright, class, settle down," the teacher called as he walked in.

The class went pretty much smoothly, until the teacher sidled up to Antonio.

"Mr Carriedo," he smiled, sickly-sweet. I took this moment to note how young and, admittedly, good-looking he was. Was Antonio attracted to him? Not that I care, of course.

"How are you finding the work?" he asked, putting a hand on Antonio's upper arm. I scowled. What a pervert. Mr Saville wasn't the only paedophile around.

"Uh, it's okay," Antonio replied. He looked uncomfortable. I smirked.

"Aren't you overage?" I scowled at the teacher as he was walking away. He looked confused.

"Uh, yes?"

"So doesn't that make you a paedo?"

He glared. I glared back. He walked off. I smirked.

"Thanks," Antonio said with a grateful smile. "He's quite nice, and he honestly does like me, but I don't like hurting his feelings."

I felt like strangling him for being so naive. And cute. Mostly naive. Wait, what? He's not cute!

He leaned closer with one of those stupid small smiles. "Thanks."

I moved back because, um, _boundaries_, please? "Yeah, well, whatever."

Damn is it just me or is this classroom hot?

"Actually!" he perked up suddenly. "I have an idea! Why don't you pretend to be my boyfriend, only in this class, to get him away from me?"

"Hell no!"

"Please!"

"Fuck off!"

Antonio laughed. "Only you could ever swear cutely!" He pinched my cheek. "Cute!"

I paused.

"Don't. Call. Me. Cute."

He honestly looked surprised and shit, were his eyes always this big? And they were a nice colour too...

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

"Don't you like being called cute?"

"_No._"

"Oh." He paused and then grinned. "That's so cute!"

"You bastard, it's _not_."

"You're cute!"

"Fuck you!"

And for the rest of the lesson, he insisted on calling everything I do cute, including my breathing.

I'm smiling because he's so fucking hopeless and stupid, that it makes _me _feel better about myself.

Honest.

**-End of the day-**

"Romano! Romano!"

I tried to ignore the voice.

"Romano!"

"Your brother's calling you," Antonio said helpfully, pointing over at a figure near the fountain. I nodded.

"I know. I'm ignoring him."

And then the fucktard jumped on me and I almost fell.

"I could've hit my head on the floor and got brain damage and DIED, bastardo!"

"Ve, sorry, fratello," he apologized. "This is Ludwig!"

He pointed at a tall, blonde dude behind him, who waved awkwardly.

He was... kinda scary.

I am _not _hiding behind Antonio and clutching his shirt. I was just... wiping something off his back.

"You German or something?" I said roughly, eyes narrowed.

"Uh, yes?"

"Potato bastard," I spat as vehemently as I could whilst hiding behind Antonio, who looked pretty bewildered.

"Um..."

"Don't be mean, ve~! Ludwig's nice!"

"I fucking doubt it."

"Come on, we should get to our dorms. It's late," Ludwig smiled, addressing Antonio.

"You two know each other?" I asked sceptically. I can't imagine the two of them having a normal conversation.

"Our rooms are next to each other, so we walk together sometimes.," Ludwig shrugged. I dug my nails into Antonio and ignored his little 'ow'.

"I wasn't asking you," I snapped, sweat-dropping.

The four of us walked to our rooms together, and I made sure to keep as far away as possible from that Wurst jerk.

"Fucking hell, I'm tired," I yawned as soon as we parted and me and Antonio entered the room. I shivered.

"Why's it so fucking cold?" I complained.

"Central heating must be broken," Antonio frowned, touching the cold radiator. He cheered up almost instantly. "I've got lots of blankets anyway, so we can keep warm! And if you get too cold, we can cuddle!"

I was _not _blushing.

"I'll pass on the last one," I snapped, looking away quickly. Did this guy know _nothing _about personal space?

Five minutes later, we were in our respective beds, with three duvets each. But damn, they were freezing. I shivered.

Antonio turned the lamp back on and sat up.

"Romano."

I turned over to look at him. He was holding his arms out expectantly.

"I can hear your teeth chattering from here," he smiled.

I growled. I was pretty sure I was going to freeze to death, and maybe if we had six duvets together, I'd be warmer but...

This is Antonio.

Antonio Fernando Carriedo.

"Bring your duvets over here," he smiled, lying down again. I glared.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I grumbled, trying to hide the slight blush on my cheeks, dumping the duvets on top of the bed and throwing myself down.

"Don't touch me! I'm not signing up for any cuddling!" I warned. Antonio laughed.

"I bet you're a closeted cuddler," he teased. I snorted.

"Sure, sure."

I turned away, and so did he.

How the hell did he manage to warm the sheets that quick?

* * *

**To make up for being so late, this is a little longer and fluffier than the others! =) Next chapter, we'll have the actual Food Tech project! **

**What do you think of Lili and Elizabeta being matchmakers? Do you want anyone else to help them with their little matchmaking business? **


End file.
